Backpost: Counseling the Pilot

Posted on Sat Apr 30th, 2022 @ 6:58am by Lieutenant Commander Brennyn Scott M.D. & Lieutenant JG Jane Sinclair

1,417 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Trade Troubles
Location: Counselor's Office
Timeline: Shortly before "The Plans of the Dinner Scheme"

It was the day after Jane’s busy day of appointments and exploration. Try as she might, she could not get to everything she needed in one day. So first thing the next morning was her appointment with Counselor Scott.

She had not heard much about the Counselor, aside from the fact that she was human but not from Earth. A starship baby. There were a lot of those in her generation, Jane observed, given that families had been permitted on Galaxy class ships and similar.

She chimed the counselor’s office door and waited to be let in.

"Come in," Brennyn called out, the office doors hissing open upon her command. She smiled as she came forward offering her hand. "Hello, I'm Bree. You must be Lieutenant Sinclair."

“That’s right,” Jane answered once she was in the office. “Call me Jane. Nice to meet you, Bree.”

"Likewise," Bree replied. She gestured for the pilot to take a seat in any one of her available chairs. "May I get you something from the replicator?"

“No, thank you,” Jane replied. “I’m glad I finally found some time to see you though, for my regular arrival check-in.”

"I am too," Scott replied with a grin. "Chasing people down like a nagging old lady is not a good look for me." Brennyn took a seat across from Jane and then offered, "I like to treat these initial meetings as get to know you sessions more than anything. I believe that way, if people ever do you experience a problem they need to discuss with a counselor, at the very least they know one to turn to."

"That's a good way to handle it," Jane agreed. "Well, I'm a pilot and a mechanic. I used to race, and try to find time for it whenever I can, even if it's in the holodeck or watching the pros on screen. Um, what else? My mum's on Proxima Centauri II, where I grew up. I don't see her as often as I'd like to. Oh! I have a date tonight! I think? Hard to say. But yeah, I keep busy," she ended with a chuckle.

Scott took note of Jane's easy-going nature and found herself genuinely intrigued about her date or rather, her potential date? "You're not sure you have a date? As in, need to check your schedule or you're not sure if it's a date at all? I don't mean to pry," Scott clarified, "I just find your comments about a potential date one of the most interesting things I've heard so far today."

Jane giggled at the question. “I’m just not sure if it’s a date, or if it’s dinner with a new friend. I think I’d like it to be a date, but I don’t know what she wants. But it’s all very new and exciting!” She grinned at the thought of what might be in her future, and after a moment she smirked. “But what’s this ‘I don’t mean to pry’? I thought prying was in a Counselor’s job description.”

Briee chuckled. "Touché. I suppose since this is our first meeting, I am trying to tread lightly. No sense getting all nosy right off the bat and confirming every stereotype you might have," she teased. "Maybe that's a good strategy for your future date/possibly not date? Just see where it goes."

“I like that,” Jane said, nodding. “Just see where it goes. Seems easy enough, but I hope the butterflies agree,” she said, holding a hand to her stomach.

"I have found when it comes to physical sensations, like butterflies, the problem isn't the sensations themselves, but rather, the meaning we give to them. What does having butterflies mean to you? What thoughts come to mind when you think about the sensation of butterflies being in your stomach?"

Jane stopped to think. She hadn't ever thought about what the physical sensations of her feelings might *mean*, or at least mean to her. "I guess I'm more nervous or apprehensive than I want to admit. I want this to go well. I want it to go really well. She seems so nice, and we hit it off. Maybe we'll be just friends, and that wouldn't be bad necessarily, but...I think I really like her."

"Really liking someone is always a good place to start in any relationship," Bree replied. "If things don't go as you would like them to, what would that mean? What would you say to yourself about it?"

Jane shrugged. "I'm not sure. On the one hand, I'd welcome a new friend. But on the other...on my last two assignments, there wasn't really anyone special. Maybe I'd like there to be someone special for me now."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting someone special in your life," Brennyn replied with a nod, "especially after a long time without it. I'm wondering, do you hold yourself responsible for there not being anybody special in your last two assignments?"

"Not really," Jane answered. "My last assignment was a ship that was part of Full Circle. Delta Quadrant exploration. Small crew and very isolated. One before that was closer to home, but we were just so busy all the time. In both cases I had some flings when the opportunity arose, but yeah on the Theophrastus there was no one I wanted to settle down with, and on the Shanghai there just wasn't the time for dating."

"Is it possible you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to make up for lost time?" Bree speculated.

"Maybe," Jane said, nodding. "Any tips for avoiding doing that?"

"Well," Bree offered, "I think it starts with figuring out whether that maybe is closer to a yes or a no. If after a bit of introspection you think you might be putting pressure on yourself, I would follow up by asking myself the original question. What would it mean if this were just a dinner between friends? If there is pressure, why now? Is it just that you've never felt a connection like this before, or are you putting pressure on yourself now because in the past, you haven't been able to meet your needs for companionship and romance, and that's created a sense of loneliness and impatience?"

"Good questions," Jane answered. "I'll give that some thought, Bree." She let out a chuckle. "I'm not sure this worked though. I'm more nervous, now that I realize I might be putting more pressure on myself than I should!"

Scott chuckled in return and looked apologetic, although her eyes sparkled with the mirth that matched Jane's. "Sorry, often what I do does not provide a quick or easy answer. I wonder, does knowing you could be putting more pressure on yourself at least make you more aware of things to be mindful of?"

"I suppose it does," Jane agreed. "Mindfulness is a double-edged sword in my profession. You need to be aware of what's happening around you, and thoughtful about what you're doing, lest you overheat the engine. But also you can't hesitate for a second, or you lose the race or crash into an asteroid. So I've always been more of a 'do it now and think about it later' kind of girl. I can fix the overheated engine, after all. But maybe some more mindfulness is warranted in my social life."

Scott appreciated the explanation and could now understand the nature of Jane's particular struggle. One person's impulsivity was another person's life-saving response, and it couldn't be easy switching gears. "I have a better understanding of your perspective, and I can imagine it's not easy to let go of those impulses depending on the situation. For what it's worth, I don't think you can go wrong with being honest about your feelings and your potential impulses. Even if she doesn't feel the same way or is not ready to say so, I don't know anyone who doesn't appreciate a straight shooter."

Jane smiled. "Thank you, Counselor. I'm glad I came to talk to you today."

Scott smiled in return. "I'm glad you did too. My door is always open. Good luck later."

“Thank you! For all of it, I mean.” And with that, Jane stood and left the Counselor’s office, feeling good. She was still nervous about tonight, but the lessons in mindfulness and being conscientious of feelings would last a lifetime.

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