Meeting with Dad (Backpost, Part 2)

Posted on Wed Apr 30th, 2025 @ 4:56am by Lieutenant Commander Brennyn Scott M.D. & Commander Keisuke Takahashi 'K.T.'

1,184 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Indivisible
Location: Counselor's Office
Timeline: After 'Meeting with Dad (Backpost, Part 1)'

Previously, on Star Trek: Myogi:

"Because when she's at her vulnerable, she's looking to me to have things figured out." Keisuke explained. He probably mashed words and made his argument sound worse. "The last thing I want to do is tell her that I don't have a damn clue either. So, I follow the old adage and fake it until I make it."

"If you were someone who didn't have a damn clue, to quote you, what would that mean? Who are you or what are you?" Scott was attempting to uncover the core belief being triggered by these circumstances, the global label that drove him to fake confidence.

And now, the continuation:

"I'm... I'm a phony fraud, that's what I am!" Keisuke spluttered. "For years, decades, I've put up a facade that I'm a changed man, but deep down, I'm still that angry little boy who wanted nothing more than to see the world burn! My bro gave me the tools to bury that shit six feet in a hole, and in Starfleet I was brought up through the ranks a lot faster than my peers by a man I thought I trusted, but only turned out to be a spineless fraud himself! I'm sure I stole my position from far more qualified officers simply because a goddamn cult leader had me right where he wanted me! Blindly loyal and obedient like a dog!"

Bree leaned in closer, silently attempting to close the physical distance between them to offer some sort of physical support after he had so explosively revealed his buried pain. Her words had uncorked a torrent of emotion, and just like her childbirth preparation session with his wife, deeper truths were being uncovered.

There would be time to help him challenge and examine these core beliefs in greater depth, but for now, she simply sought to offer comfort. Like his wife, Scott, sensed it wasn’t easy for him to be this vulnerable in front of himself, let alone anyone else. “I can only imagine how hard it’s been to keep all of that inside of you. Thank you for trusting me with all of this. It’s going to take time for you to give yourself the grace and compassion you deserve, but in the meantime, let me be the first to say that none of this is your fault.“

Keisuke looked up, rather surprised. It could be gleaned from his facial expression that this was a man who had repressed his darker emotions so much, that he blamed himself for everything that had caused these negative emotions to manifest, and was utterly confused by the statement that none of it was his fault.

"Huh, how do you figure?" He asked.

“ I am no apologist for one’s every choice, but from what you shared with me, being bullied as a youth gave you every reason to feel hurt, frustrated and afraid. Even in today’s society, human men are often taught the only truly masculine way to manage those feelings is by expressing anger. Even so, you managed to become a high-ranking Starfleet officer, and despite what you said about feeling like a fraud and a phony, that doesn’t just happen without any real talent or strength.“

"So, you're saying everything Miyahara fed me wasn't complete bullshit?" Keisuke asked. "That I actually do have what was so highly touted of me?"

"What do you think? Forget that it's you we're talking about. Based on everything you know about Starfleet, do you think it makes sense that someone with zero skills, zero drive, and zero integrity wouls make it this far?"

"Zero skill and zero drive, they wouldn't get anywhere in Starfleet. They'd be eternal lower deckers if they weren't kicked out of Starfleet." Keisuke explained. "It gets interesting on the bit with zero integrity, though: Because if someone has no qualms with bending or flat out breaking Starfleet's rules to get what they want, they could do some serious damage that would undermine Starfleet's credibility. Ever since I was assigned to this ship as an Ensign, I have dedicated my career to stopping these kinds of criminals from continuing to cause damage. I just never saw that I was serving under the biggest criminal until it was too late..."

"Do you believe, objectively speaking, you could have known that, based on the evidence you had at the time?"

"No," Keisuke sighed. "You don't realize you're in a cult until the leader disposes of you."

“Exactly,“ Scott answered with a nod. “So are these thoughts you’re holding onto really fair, not just based on the emotions, but the facts?“

"No, I guess it's not." Keisuke admitted. "I suppose that circles back to me continually beating myself up, isn't it?"

Scott nodded. “I’m not saying it’s easy to change the way you think instantaneously, but the first step is recognizing each time you beat yourself up and then challenging your own thinking with the facts, not just the feelings. It’s also important to remember this is going to take time. You’ve spent a long while believing these things, so it’s going to take more than a snap of your fingers to change things. Still, the more you reinforce the truth to yourself, the easier it becomes over time.“

"So, is there anything specific I can do in relation to this?" Keisuke asked. "Any kind of mental exercise or some kind of activity to identify when I may be thinking negatively?"

"Thinking positively means drowning out the negativity with the truth. Ideally, that truth needs to come in the form of your own words and voice," Bree replied. "Some people find it helpful to develop affirmations to say aloud, or even journaling as a reminder. Might you have a regular routine for self-care where something like that could be incorporated?"

"I may have a way to incorporate keeping a journal." Keisuke put a finger to his chin. "I'll have to think on whether I'll need to get another PADD just for this purpose..."

"That's a good idea," Bree answered. "If nothing else, it can be a way to keep track of your progress, as our brains tend to forget all the progress we've made in anxious or discoueaging moments. It's also a way to express things you don't need to record in official logs but still need to process. The key is to remember the journal is for you alone, so there's no right or wrong way to do it."

Keisuke nodded before noting the chronometer.

"Is there anything else that we need to go over?" He asked.

Bree's grin was wide. "There's lots, but I think we've covered enough for today." Jokingly, she added, "Shall I have my people call your people to schedule another meeting?"

"Only if you're not available, say... Same time next week?" Keisuke proposed.

“Short of a red alert, that will work for me,“ she added with a grin.

Posting by

Commander Keisuke Takahashi
Second Officer

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