A Snooze Away From Time (Part 1)

Posted on Wed Oct 2nd, 2024 @ 1:09am by Lieutenant Ami Rori & Lieutenant Commander Brennyn Scott M.D.

1,831 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Captains and Contraband
Location: Counselor's Office

Ami had set up the appointment nearly just as soon as she'd arrived on board, but given the schedules of her and Lieutenant Scott, it had been for many days out and now was the time. More specifically, in forty-five minutes. That was enough time to close her eyes for just a few minutes to refresh her mind to prepare. But she knew her weaknesses and locked the door to the spare set of quarters nearly opposite the Counselor's office open before she settled into the chair and closed her eyes. She wasn't going to go to sleep, that's why the door was open.

Three minutes later, she'd slipped out of her shoes and tucked her feet into the chair underneath her, a soft snore coming from her as she lost consciousness. Because she'd been so confident that she would remain awake, she never even realized she'd forgotten to set an alarm for her appointment.

The doors to Bree's office hissed open and the teal clad officer emerged, stopping only a second more to turn back to offer her thanks to Scott who stood at the door's entrance. "I'll see you next week." It was an exchange the counselor experienced several times a day, multiple times a week.

Normally, she returned to her office with barely a glance outward, but this time, the open door diagonally across from her caught her attention. At first, her mind was quick to dismiss the sight, as naturally, she was bound to catch people coming and going at any moment of the day. What surprised her, what her brain understood even before her mouth could articulate it, was that there appeared to be no one in the immediate vicinity on either side of the open door. What's more, what she expected - namely, the closing of the doors immediately after a few seconds - never came.

Scott was about to head back into the office and report the incident as a simple glitch when she heard it. Was that snoring? Now curious, and perhaps more than a little motivated to avoid writing her clinical notes, Bree decided to investigate.

Crossing the corridor easily enough, Scott only hesitated a few moments at the new entrance before venturing inside. Covering her mouth with one hand, the counselor stifled a chuckle as she took in the sight of what was supposed to be her next arrival peacefully napping. For a moment, Bree hesitated with what to do next. She hated to interrupt what looked to be such a comfortable moment, but on the other hand, if she didn't, she would be complicit in helping Ami avoid her appointment.

In the end, she decided to clear her throat and venture waking her with a simple, "Hello?"

"Mmmmmm." The wordless protest was followed up by a yawn that seemed fit to suck in the matter of the universe and Ami stretched her arms rather cat-like manner, straight ahead of her and one eye peeked open. "Good morning..." She muttered, stretching her legs out from under her skirt, "I wasn't asleep, was just resting my eyes." She blinked twice and opened both eyes this time, "You're the... What time is it?"

"About time for your appointment," Scott replied evenly. "No harm done, Lieutenant, but are you feeling alright?" Napping in itself was not cause for alarm per se, but Bree did wonder if her fatigue was an indication that now wasn't a good time for her appointment.

"Oh, I'm perfectly fine." Ami wiggled her pink-painted toes before tucking them back into the shoes that were right where she left them and pushing herself to her feet where she again stretched with another major yawn, "Sorry about that, I really just wanted to get a bit of rest before this. It's a bit of a story, really, a drama. Death, destruction, my Exec getting mortally wounded, her symbiont getting wounded in the process, her backup Host dead in engineering and I was the only potential option, but I'm only half-Trill. I've got all the requisite bits and pieces for the Joining, aside from an enzymatic imbalance, and the fact that full-blooded Trills are built, literally, to provide all the energy that a symbiont needs, even if they're sucking it all to heal themselves, and Rori here couldn't go into stasis, so it was me or death." Ami was rambling as they crossed the hallway to Bree's office, "So I'm on meds and the greedy little turdnugget here still takes a lot of the energy I bring in, so I'm constantly a bit sleepy."

Scott listened to the steady stream of words and couldn't help but wonder if what she was hearing was the result of extreme trauma or just an extremely open hearted person. Scott waited until the doors to her office was closed behind them before she offered, "That's a lot for anyone to deal with an emotional level, to put it mildly.”

“That ain’t even the half of it!” Ami said in a nearly exasperated voice, though the smile on her face as she seemed to snap fully awake in an instant belied the fact, “Sure, the Joining was successful, but there’s something of a blockISH thing happening between me and Rori. Joined Trills can usually access the memories of the past Hosts of a symbiont as if they were their own, essentially instant two-way communication with a past self, but without the emotional overtones. But yeah, I don’t have that. Instead I have conversations with Rori, where people think I’m crazy because I’m having a conversation with… No one. And because the link is either weak or strong at any given moment, sometimes Rori asserts herself when a strong emotion comes out and sorta takes over.”

Bree gestured for Ami to take a seat and make herself comfortable. It also gave her the opportunity to fully absorb not just the words but their implications. "Will you give me an example of Rori taking over during strong emotions?"

"The only question I'd have is which ones would be the best example?" Ami slipped off her shoes again as she settled into one of the chair and tucked her feet up under her again and her hands joined each other in her lap after smoothing down her skirt, "Mostly it's when I'm really anxious or frustrated or angry, but the situation seems to dictate which one of my previous hosts comes out. I got criticized by the Captain a while back right after I'd made a report and well... Chrysta came through and kindof said something I wouldn't have in the moment. She was Captain of a starship a century ago you see, her views on how to handle people were different than Maho's. Trillian is always rather quiet, more introspective and admonishing in private rather than being open. Axel tends to pop up when I'm frustrated in engineering, gives me cryptic messages that I have to solve before I can find out what he meant and Floria? She was the most recent host and I actually knew her, she's... Supportive. Almost too much so, I think, but she's the one that tends to come out when I'm having more of a personal crisis."

"I can see you have reflected on the precursors to these events quite a lot," Bree began. "That's a good start. I will admit I am not an expert on Trill neuropsychology, but I do believe there are things we can work on together and I will of course seek professional guidance from others more familiar as necessary. If I'm understanding you so far, though, when prior hosts react in emotional moments, you as the current host are completely suppressed? In other words, they completely dominate and prevent you from taking control?"

"Yes." Ami responded immediately, then added, "And no. Sometimes I can't take control back when they're 'speaking through me', but that's more along the lines of the interactions with Chrysta. I'm fully aware of what's going on, still seeing through my own eyes, listening with my own ears, though she rarely moves my body when she's expressing herself, I've never tried to do that myself in the situation." She reached up to rub her eyes, "It's rarely for more than oh.. Fifteen, twenty seconds at a time in any case, long enough for her to get out what she wants to say, then I'm back in the driver's seat again." The young woman shrugged, "Most of my interactions with the prior hosts I have are more along the lines of them speaking to me in my head, but for one reason or another they can't precisely hear my own thoughts when I try to respond, so I end up speaking out loud to them. Kinda makes me look a little crazy, don't you think?"

"No," Bree assured. "It just makes you different. One Federation member's 'crazy' is another person's cultural norm. In this case, it's definitely impacting your ability to function, but I would never use the word crazy to describe a challenge, whether physical or mental. Chrysta's unique responses aside for the moment, I'm wondering if you have to offer a response back? I don't wish to be overly simplistic or to come across as minimizing or dismissing your challenges, but one potential way of looking at the commentary of these previous hosts is it is your own mind working to help ensure your survival. Put another way, could you see their commentary as your own thoughts that don't need to be responded to aloud?"

That made Ami have to stop to think for a few seconds, deciphering everything that the counselor had said within the context of the symbiont bond. It was almost as if she heard someone clearing her throat, trying to get her attention from several feet behind her, though she knew no one was there. "Joining with symbionts in the Trill culture was not only a survival instinct for the symbionts, but also a way to preserve and protect the history of the Trill people as well as the lives and memories of the Hosts chosen to be Joined. A living repository of knowledge for so long as the symbiont survived. I've got no doubt that should Rori be implanted in another Host, they'd have the proper instant communication that is considered 'normal.'" Ami paused for a moment, listening intently to someone whispering to her as she stared at the desk, "Yes, that communication does help in aiding the survival of the Host by drawing upon the accumulated knowledge of all of the preceding Hosts, but strictly speaking, no I don't need to respond out loud, although my own thoughts aren't necessarily heard by Rori or are somewhat fragmented, she can infer my response typically by my resulting actions." Her eyes flicked up again, "Thanks, Trillian."

(To be continued...)

A Post by:

Lieutenant Commander Brennyn Scott
Chief Counselor

and

Lieutenant Ami Rori
Chief Engineer

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