What to Do When You're A Terrible Racer (Backpost)

Posted on Thu Sep 28th, 2023 @ 5:49am by Commander Elisabeth Churchill & Lieutenant Commander Tristana & Takeshi Nakazato 'Zack' & Lieutenant Karen Kujo 'Union Jane'

1,774 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: The Fast & The Fleet
Timeline: Sometime following "Turning A Lie into the Truth"; One week before the race

For the Myogi's acting Chief of Ops, things weren't getting any easier:

Tristana had mastered the basic operation of a motor vehicle, but the more advanced racing techniques she was struggling with. When she was originally practicing for the hill climb, she couldn't carry enough momentum through the turns. So, she had switched to the downhill only to have the exact opposite problem, in that she was carrying too much momentum into the turns, and was constantly spinning out.

Captain Takahashi had been so unsatisfied by Tristana's performance that she had issued an ultimatum: Get good or don't come to the race.

Yet, no matter what Tristana tried, she couldn't complete either a hill climb or a downhill without stalling or spinning out.

This is hopeless..." Tristana thought as she sat against the Chevrolet El Camino she had been using. If this is the best I can do, I might as well let Capitan (Captain) Takahashi kick me off the team and be done with it...

This poor performance had driven Tristana to seek out Takeshi on Deck 2.

"Hey, Tristana;" Takeshi greeted when he answered the door. "What can I do for you?"

"Zack, I have a big favor to ask of you;" Tristana said, placing her hands together. "Please teach me to drive Myogi's downhill like you do!"

Takeshi took a moment to ponder Tristana's request.

"I'm sorry, but that's just not possible." He said.

"What? Come on, just help me shave a fraction of a second off of my time! That's all I need!" Tristana begged.

"I empathize, but experience tells me you can't improve that much in so short a timespan." Takeshi explained. "Taking the mountain requires years of practice, and I mean obsessive practice, especially on the downhill! Back when I was still racing, you'd best believe I was attacking that pass day and night even in my sleep. Technique isn't something you just learn like tying your shoes or shooting a phaser. It's something you have to figure out for yourself."

"Yeah, right." Tristana scoffed, crossing her arms. "To think I'd actually get something useful out of you..."

"Look, I'd love to help, but there's nothing I can do!" Takeshi said.

"Yeah, whatever:" Tristana muttered. "I'll be back..."

And without another word, Tristana turned and headed back up the corridor to the turbolifts.

As Tristana made her way back down to the holodeck, she stewed on what Takeshi had said to her:

Obsessive practice?? She thought. What does he think I have been doing this whole time? If that's all it took, I'd own this by now...

Returning to the holodeck, Tristana got back in her El Camino and set of on another run.

Damnit, what am I missing? Tristana wondered. Keisuke and Takumi made this look so damn easy...

Tristana's musings were suddenly interrupted by headlights going in the other direction appearing from around the blind corner.

CRAP! GO TO THE OUTSIDE!" Tristana thought.

The other car was a Toyota Corolla Levin AE86. Being driven by Elisabeth Churchill. When she saw the headlights of Tristana's El Camino emerge from around the blind corner, and how the other car seemed to be barreling straight at her, Elisabeth's grip on the wheel tightened, and she maneuvered to try and avoid the collision on her end.

Somehow, Tristana also managed to avoid the collision. However, she was still understeering, heading straight for the guardrail.

"NO!!" Tristana screamed as the El Camino slammed into the guardrail with a sickening crunch.

Fortunately, the holodeck's safety had been on, and Tristana emerged unscathed from the battered El Camino a few seconds later. Elisabeth had also brought the 86 to a halt after the near miss.

"What the actual fuck?" Tristana screamed.

The driver door opened, revealing Elisabeth, who proceeded to rush over to the ditch and vomit into it.

"You?" Tristana asked as the anger gave way to confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, shit! Izzy!"

It was that point that Karen leapt out of the passenger's seat and ran over to check up on Elisabeth to make sure she was alright.

"Perhaps we're moving a bit too fast," she began, resting a hand on Elisabeth's shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to try driving more slowly first before we start taking this at high speeds?"

"Ulp..." Elisabeth retched. "You really want to go slow when there's only a week left before the race?"

"Well..." Karen seemed a bit torn about what to do, especially seeing Elisabeth in this state. Tristana couldn't recall the last time she'd seen the Geordie brat look this concerned for someone, if at all. "I mean, I know that, but the past few times we've tried this, you clearly can't handle the higher speeds, so that's why I was thinking we should-!"

It was that time that Karen spotted Tristana staring from across the road.

"Forgive us," she apologized. "Commander Queed was called off on an emergency assignment, and we don't know how long it'll be before he comes back, so I figured I could try and train Izzy in his stead..."

She glanced over at Elisabeth, then back at Tristana.

"As you can see, that's not going so well."

"Could you at least be a little more considerate, Kujo?" Tristana asked. "Last I recall, I was using this holodeck first!"

Karen shrugged. "Well, last I recall, you were nowhere in sight; as far as I'm concerned, you walked away and forgot to turn the program off. Of course, since Izzy and I were coming down here to practice, it certainly played things in our favor..."

"I think you might be overexaggerating things, Carrie." Elisabeth muttered. "I think it was the oncoming car that spooked me, not the speeds..."

"Whatever," Tristana muttered, rolling her eyes. "Just do me a favor and stay out my way; both of you. If I don't get good at this, Capitan (Captain) Takahashi is going to kick me off the NightKids, and I won't have the pleasure of beating some smug Andorian from the Haruna..."

Karen smirked. "What's this? Do I detect our oh-so-charismatic skyey-gob is admitting to something actually she sucks at?" she quipped sarcastically.

"I don't 'suck' at this, Kujo:" Tristana responded. "It's just that I'm taking longer to get the hang of this than Capitan (Captain) Takahashi wants me to."

"I don't know, that sounds like a long-winded way of admitting to sucking to me." Elisabeth smirked. "You're lucky Captain Takahashi wasn't here to witness your crash, or she might make her decision a lot sooner."

"Stay out of this, Churchill." Tristana warned. "Computer, reset El Camino position and damage."

Within moments of Tristana's input, the wrecked El Camino vanished and reappeared sitting on the roadway as if it had never been crashed. Without exchanging another word to Karen or Elisabeth, Tristana got back in the El Camino, started it up and sped off.

As the sound of the El Camino's engine faded into the distance, Elisabeth gave Karen a rather concerned look.

"Er... Should we go after her?" She asked.

"I'm up for it if you are..." Karen responded with a wink.

"Then let's get going." Elisabeth insisted. "Make sure she doesn't do anything else stupid..."

Together, the two women got back into the Levin, and Elisabeth turned around and set off in the direction Tristana had disappeared.

As Tristana wound her way down the course, trying to improve her time, she saw a pair of headlights appear in her mirror.

Can't you just leave well enough alone, Kujo? Tristana asked as the lights drew up on her bumper. Alright, then: If that's how you want to play, game on!

Tristana then shifted into a higher gear and began to pick up her pace, attacking the corners like there was no tomorrow as she tried to outrun the 86.

As Elisabeth drifted behind the El Camino, she could see that Tristana was giving her all trying to get away.

I must admit, for someone who sucks, they're quite good under pressure. Elisabeth thought as her stomach began to churn. Then again, that could speak to my own skill level...

Despite trying all the tricks Takumi was trying to teach her trying to outrun the 86, the Levin remained in Tristana's rear view mirror.

"I can't even outrun an 86? Crap!" Tristana uttered. "How am I supposed to take on the fucking Haruna SpeedStars if I can't even outrun a fucking 86!"

"Ooh! Ooh! The fun bit's coming up!" Karen exclaimed from the passenger seat. "She's going to slow down for it, so pass her and do a Scandi Flick, just like I taught you!"

"Are you sure?" Elisabeth asked.

"Positive, Izzy;" Karen assured her. "Now, hit it!"

A particularly technical part of the course was coming up, and Tristana hit her brakes in preparation to navigate it. However, the 86 didn't slow down at all, passing her.

What are you doing, Kujo? Tristana thought. After this slow right is a sharp left: There's a ravine on the other side, you've got to hit the brakes!

The 86 began sliding as if losing control.

"I knew it, that freaking idiot Kujo is going in way too fast!" Tristana exclaimed. "There's no more room to slow down, she's going into that guardrail!"

"Wait for it..." Karen instructed. "NOW!"

On Karen's command, Elisabeth lifted off the throttle and applied the brakes as she downshifted and turned the wheel in the other direction, shifting the 86's weight to the other side.

"Whoa!" Tristana gasped, trying to comprehend what she just saw. "What... The hell? Inertia drift??"

Tristana jammed on her brakes and the El Camino spun around as it came to a stop. Tristana engaged the parking brake and got out just in time to see the 86's taillights go out of sight.

This is hopeless... Tristana thought. If Kujo can beat my ass handily, perhaps I shouldn't even show up to the race against the SpeedStars...

Posting by

Commander Elisabeth Churchill
Acting Chief Diplomatic Officer

Lieutenant Commander Tristana
Acting Chief Operations Officer

Lieutenant Karen Kujo
Squadron Leader

Takeshi Nakazato
Disgraced Starfleet Officer

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